One-Minute Action News Headlines

Good evening. I'm Bip Ripley and this --


-- is One Minute Action News. And your headlines!


Congress plans $5,000 Cap on Back-Taxes for Cabinet Nominees!


President Obama warns: Senate Failure to Confirm Deputy Undersecretary of the Bureau of Labor Statistics "Could Lead to Catastrophe"


NBC announces New Reality Show: Rahm Emanuel, Rod Blagojevich and Suzanne Somers Will Live Together in Tiny One-Bedroom Apartment!


Former Veep Dick Cheney warns of greatest threat to United States: "Spiteful Troll" Al Franken in Senate


Helen Thomas mistaken for endangered reptile, imprisoned in DC Zoo for 48 hours


Support for Stimulus package wanes; more Americans now believe Nancy Pelosi's face is natural


Chris Dodd's Mortgage Papers accidentally rolled up and smoked by Michael Phelps


And finally, in lifestyle news, the New York Times predicts that "Keith Olbermann bobble-head dolls could be the future of broadcast journalism".


This has been One Minute Action News! I'm Bip Ripley, saying "so long, suckaz!"