John Edwards: Man at Work

 
Ah jest can't figure this Obamba out.

First he comes out wantin' to invade Pakistan, of all places. So I think he's movin' right, tryin' to flank me...

But it's a head fake!

'Cuz right away he comes back out and says we should abolish all of our nukes. So now I think he's movin' left!

Damn Omaba keeps zig-zaggin'! There are two Americas, awright, and he's in both of 'em!

So who pops their head up but Chris Dodd! He's tryin' to look all vice-presidential sayin' that Omama's, "confusing and confused. He has made threats he should not make and made unwise categorical statements about military options."

He's just suckin' up to Hillary, tryin' to get on the ticket! Dammit all to hell and back!

Senator Edwards, the reporters are ready.

Bucky, how in the hell am I supposed to collect my wits when this new conditioner has screwed up my bounce and sheen?

Sorry, sir, but we're already ten minutes late... they're getting a bit restless...

You better pray there's not a Fox reporter out there. You know I can't perform in front of those right-wingers. Frankly, they scare me.

There's not, sir! There's not! I checked the list twice!

Well, tell them to wait! I'll be out there when my hair is good and ready!