The Tragedy of Macbama

The Tragedy of Macbama

By Anonymous

SCENE I. A desert place.

Thunder and lightning. Enter three EDITORs


FIRST EDITOR

When shall we three print again

In thunder, lightning, or in rain?


SECOND EDITOR

When the election campaign's arranged,

When the battle's won for hope and change.


THIRD EDITOR

We will stand firm rank on rank,

For the new king, be in the tank.


FIRST EDITOR

In the studio we will swarming

To heat things up like global warming

Now rampant bias is the norm

For stimulus and health reform.


SECOND EDITOR

Already I feel a quivering up my leg!


THIRD EDITOR

There to meet with Macbama,

Then begins our great drama!


FIRST EDITOR

I come, CNN!


SECOND EDITOR

MSNBC calls.


THIRD EDITOR

And the Times, too.


ALL

Fair is foul, and foul is fair:

To fix this election we will dare!

Exeunt


SCENE II. A heath near Lake Forrest.

Thunder. Enter the three EDITORs


FIRST EDITOR

Where hast thou been?


SECOND EDITOR

I have been in quite a push

Blaming everything on Bush.


THIRD EDITOR

Sister, where thou?


FIRST EDITOR

I have been gathering dirt

Such stuff as will really hurt.

And imprecations by the score

For those who block the candidate we adore

When one critiques his beloved face

I attribute it to race.


THIRD EDITOR

My effort has been to the contrary

All the dirt on him I did bury.

Trumpets Sound


THIRD EDITOR

A drum, a drum!

Macbama doth come.


ALL

The weird sisters, hand in hand,

Republicans we will all brand

As too far right for this fair land.

And those who back them as not too bright.

Whether that is wrong or Wright.

We gather up the poisoned Ayres

To bring up Macbama’s record no one dares

Its hid away in great big sacks

Along with other inconvenent facts.


FIRST EDITOR

Round about the cauldron go;

In the poison'd stories throw.


ALL

Double, double ratings and trouble;

Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.


SECOND EDITOR

Mobilize all MSNBC

For those who watch on their TV

Promise all a bigger slice of cake,

In the cauldron the rich we’ll boil and bake;

Eye of Newt so as we live,

To purge all that’s conservative;

Toe of frog as we do dance,

So the US becomes just like France.

For a charm of powerful trouble,

To give stimulus to a hell-broth’s bubble.


ALL

Double, double toil and trouble;

Fire burn and cauldron bubble.


THIRD EDITOR

Withered mummy dipped in bran,

And engagement with Iran.


ALL

Double, double toil and trouble;

Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

Trumpets sound closer

Enter MACBAMA


MACBAMA

These are some I must highly rate

Leaders of the Fourth Estate.

Them I must so careful woo

With stuff that simply is not true.

I will need them in this fight

So my paltry record they’ll rewrite.


FIRST EDITOR

All hail, Macbama! hail to thee, thane of Chi-town!


SECOND EDITOR

All hail, Macbama, hail to thee, thane of Illinois!


THIRD EDITOR

All hail, Macbama, thou shalt be king hereafter!


MACBAMA

Speak then to me, and of the future tell

I conjure you, by that which you profess,

To make real sure I don’t land in a mess.

The truth is—whatever you are stewing—

I have absolutely no idea of what I’m doing.

I’ve never run a business or a state,

As for the Senate I was absent or just plain late.

My background’s strewn with mines that must be hid

And I’ll be sunk if you lift off the lid.

Without a teleprompter I’d be sunk

You can see why I'm in such a funk!

So please tell me what is to be

The future is something I would dearly see.


FIRST EDITOR

Pour in Bush's blood,

Let lots of apologies join the flood

Like dry wood we will use lots of blame

The passions of the people to enflame.


ALL

Come, spirits from Hell or from high Heaven;

To wipe out the lessons of September 11!

Thunder. The first Apparition appears: a hick carrying a gun and a Bible


FIRST Apparition

Macbama! Macbama! Macbama! beware Rush;

Beware the thane of Beck.

But let your fear be light

They will bark but ridiculed enough they will not bite!

Disappears

Thunder. Second Apparition: A bimbo carrying a cigar


SECOND Apparition

Macbama! Macbama! Macbama!

Be bloody, bold, and resolute; laugh to scorn

The power of Clinton, for none of woman, born

Shall harm Macbama.

Disappears

Thunder. THIRD Apparition: a yuppie crowned, with a cup of latte in his hand


THIRD Apparition

Be lion-mettled, proud; and take no care

Who chafes, who frets, or where conspirers are:

Macbama shall never vanquish'd be until

A lot of teabags to high Capitol Hill

Shall come against him.

Disappears

MACBAMA

This news is good

Since that will never be

Who can wake up the masses, bid the rubes,

Turn away from their idiot and u-tubes?

Rebellion's head, rise never till the teabags

Rise, and our high-placed Macbama

Shall have an eight-year lease on White House

And transform America.