Port of Los Angeles' top priorities: pollution and diversity

The top priorities at the Port of Los Angeles might surprise you. If you guessed "detecting the presence of WMDs in containers entering the port" you'd be wrong. Green initiatives and diversity in hiring appear to be the key concerns. For starters, you don't have to be an actual U.S. citizen to join the Los Angeles Port Police (PDF).

Let me repeat that. To become a member of the Los Angeles Port Police, you do not need to be an actual U.S. citizen. Just having applied for citizenship is quite good enough, thank you.

And with one (1) day expedited testing, you too could become a member of the Los Angeles Port Police earning a starting salary of between $55K and $75K.

Sorry, but I need to repeat that one as well: one-day expedited testing lets you join the LA Port Police ASAP!

Port Police officers' range of duties include the safety and security of all passenger, cargo and vessel operations...

...Officers patrol the waterfront by boat, helicopter, automobile and bicycle; monitor vessel berthings to ensure safe docking; issue hazardous cargo and dangerous-goods permits; inspect vessels to guard against drug smuggling and pollution violations ([Ed: "pollution violations?"]); enforce local, state and federal laws; provide special training and general assistance to customer security operations.

But not to worry: Geraldine Knatz Ph.D., the port's top official, is on the case.

In January 2006, Geraldine Knatz, Ph.D., became the first female executive director of the Port of Los Angeles. She oversees the daily operations... of the nation’s number one containerport.

Moving the Port of Los Angeles forward with an agenda that focuses on responsible Port growth and environmental leadership is an aggressive goal that Dr. Knatz has tackled from day one. Reducing air emissions, eliminating health risks and expanding capital development programs... are top priorities ...under the leadership of Dr. Knatz.

...Dr. Knatz was instrumental in the creation and implementation of the Clean Air Action Plan, a comprehensive strategy for reducing air emissions from port operations by roughly 50 percent over a period of five years... Earlier this year, her non-stop work ethic and persistence in implementing the Plan was a central topic chronicled in [a] National Geographic Channel television series...

Dr. Knatz previously served as managing director of the neighboring Port of Long Beach... and spearheaded a number of environmental initiatives, including development of the Green Port Policy... Dr. Knatz earned two degrees from USC: a doctorate in biological science and a Master of Science in environmental engineering. She also holds an undergraduate degree in zoology from Rutgers University.

Silly me. I thought the number one priority at the Port of Los Angeles was, say, preventing a frickin' containerized nuclear weapon from sailing into the harbor and detonating. Like, security?

A nuke could actually hamper your green efforts for, say, a thousand years or so, Dr. Knatz. But it's all about diversity -- not pragmatism!

What a frickin' disaster the state of California is. I say we kick 'em out of the Union. Who's with me?