Innovative new breakthrough created with help from the Best! Congress! Ever!

Add it all up: ACORN... plus the Community Reinvestment Act... plus subprime mortgages subsidized and packaged by Fannie and Freddie... plus "Friends of Angelo" loan deals to Christopher Dodd equals...

The amazing, new Midnight Gardener!

Find security and peace of mind in an unstable economy... Please consider the safety of your lifestyle, security of your assets in the event of a bank failure or even worse if the FDIC is unable to cover all the claims. Safe deposit boxes do not have 24 hours access to your money. The Stock Market, CDs and Money Markets may be at risk. Please use due diligence with all your investments. And remember- investing in gold has been "The Gold Standard" for thousands of years...

This amazing watertight tube has a 12" x 4" interior dimension. In this photo, it holds over $4000 in gold, silver and paper money and has an enormous amount of space remaining. Using a conservative estimate, we believe that $192,000 in gold coins will easily fit... This product is made with high quality plastic resin to maintain superior impact and load resistance. Our product is engineered to withstand the most extreme outdoor environments.

Need to bury valuables in the backyard, what with WaMu and Lehman falling to pieces? Worried about your safe-deposit box getting seized by the authorities? Well, friends, the Midnight Gardener can help! Act now, PayPal operators are standing by... patiently awaiting your call!

Now that I think about it, there's a much better name for the product.

The Frank-n-Dodd 9000.