How's "Helicopter Ben's" Anti-Deflation Checklist Working Out?

In 2002, Ben Bernanke -- the nation's foremost expert on the Great Depression -- gave the infamous "helicopter drop" speech in which he described how America could avoid deflation.

As Chairman of the Federal Reserve, Bernanke has had more than enough time to try each and every policy prescription. How's he doing?

Here is Bernanke’s roadmap, and a “point-by-point” list from that speech.

1. Reduce nominal interest rate to zero. Check. That didn’t work...

2. Increase the number of dollars in circulation, or credibly threaten to do so. Check. That didn’t work...

3. Expand the scale of asset purchases or, possibly, expand the menu of assets it buys. Check & check. That didn’t work...

4. Make low-interest-rate loans to banks. Check. That didn’t work...

5. Cooperate with fiscal authorities to inject more money. Check. That didn’t work...

6. Lower rates further out along the Treasury term structure. Check. That didn’t work...

7. Commit to holding the overnight rate at zero for some specified period. Check. That didn’t work...

8. Begin announcing explicit ceilings for yields on longer-maturity Treasury debt (bonds maturing within the next two years); enforce interest-rate ceilings by committing to make unlimited purchases of securities at prices consistent with the targeted yields. Check, and check. That didn’t work...

9. If that proves insufficient, cap yields of Treasury securities at still longer maturities, say three to six years. Check (they’re buying out to 7 years right now.) That didn’t work...

10. Use its existing authority to operate in the markets for agency debt. Check (in fact, they “own” the agency debt market!) That didn’t work...

11. Influence yields on privately issued securities. (Note: the Fed used to be restricted in doing that, but not anymore.) Check. That didn’t work...

12. Offer fixed-term loans to banks at low or zero interest, with a wide range of private assets deemed eligible as collateral (…Well, I’m still waiting for them to accept bellybutton lint & Beanie Babies, but I’m sure my patience will be rewarded. Besides their “mark-to-maturity” offers will be more than enticing!) Anyway… Check. That didn’t work...

13. Buy foreign government debt (and although Ben didn’t specifically mention it, let’s not forget those dollar swaps with foreign nations.) Check. That didn’t work...

The Fed can certainly encourage inflation by offering money at seemingly attractive rates, but it cannot force the issue.

Right now, neither consumers nor businesses want the risk. They are too loaded up with debt already, no matter how attractive the Fed wants debt to appear. It's like trying to give a kid one piece of cake too many. At some point, extra frosting makes the cake look less attractive, not more. At that point the kid will not take another bite.

That is the point we are at now.

"Mr. Wizard, get me the hell out of here!"