Van Jones: Dude, Like 80% of Americans Are Marxist Crackpots Ready to Launch an "October Offensive" Against the Man

Runner-up headline:

Rabid Communist Van Jones: 80% of Americans Are Rabid Communists Willing to Fight for the Quintessentially American Cause of Rabid Communism

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I think it's safe to say that President Obama's "green jobs advisor" Van Jones majored in Soviet History and not mathematics.

Consider the recent interview of "Conversion Van" on MSNBC (that's the nickname he prefers, I hear) regarding the massive grassroots movement for oppression and tyranny:

We are going to build a progressive counterbalance to the tea party. Eighty percent of Americans agree with everything that you say on this show, but we have no voice. We know that jobs are more important, and this phony, made-up deficit stuff they talk about. We know that people who have done well in America should do well by America and start paying America back in the form of more fair taxes.

Hey, schmuck: here's the phony and made-up deficit, courtesy of Barack Obama, which just happens to have resulted in the first downgrade of United States debt in history:


Here's more of WebVan's wisdom:

People who benefited from the bailouts and from the tax breaks should start paying America back. They're doing great.

Everybody else is suffering. That is 80 percent of the majority. And we're going to now have a voice.

Say, iVan: last time I checked, self-identified conservatives outnumbered progressives two-to-one. And with centrists included, liberals are outgunned nearly four-to-one.

But let's not clutter this post with facts, let's go back to TranVan:

"And you're going to see an American fall, an American autumn, just like we saw the Arab spring. You can see it right now with these young people on Wall Street. Hold onto your hats. We're going to have an October offensive to take back the American dream and to rescue America's middle class."

Arab Spring? So you're gonna start killing Christians?

Or you're gonna take over Wall Street? Like the 33 losers that got pepper-sprayed, tased, stripped nekkid and covered in powdered sugar*?

Dude: let me lay it down real simple for you.

We outnumber you.

Say goodnight, Van. Because in 2012, we're going to flush all of you Marxist crackpots out of office. And you can go back to being the fringe Leftist kook you were before 2008.

And may I be the first to say: buh-bye.


* Obscure Super Troopers reference