Tim Geithner's Tippity-Top Secret Debt Ceiling Spreadsheet

Biff Spackle lands another exclusive: our beloved, TurboTax-challenged Treasury Secretary's secret spreadsheet that specifies who gets paid and who gets bounced if the debt ceiling ain't raised:

As the Bipartisan Policy Center confirms:

The BPC study found that the United States is likely to hit the debt limit sometime between August 2 and August 9. “It’s a 44 percent overnight cut in federal spending” if Congress hits the debt limit, Powell said. The BPC study projects there will be $172 billion in federal revenues in August and $307 billion in authorized expenditures. That means there's enough money to pay for, say, interest on the debt ($29 billion), Social Security ($49.2 billion), Medicare and Medicaid ($50 billion), active duty troop pay ($2.9 billion), veterans affairs programs ($2.9 billion).

That leaves you with about $39 billion to fund (or not fund) the following:

Defense vendors ($31.7 billion)
IRS refunds ($3.9 billion)
Food stamps and welfare ($9.3 billion) -
Unemployment insurance benefits ($12.8 billion)
Department of Education ($20.2 billion)
Housing and Urban Development ($6.7 billion)
Other spending, such as Departments of Justice, Labor, Commerce, EPA, HHS ($73.6 billion)

Gee, let's see.

You mean we'd have to furlough:

Eric Holder? The National Labor Relations Board (NLRB), which is waging war on Boeing and other private sector companies? The EPA, which is trying to run an end-around on Congress with its own version of cap-and-trade? HHS, the blunt instrument of Obamacare? The Department of Education, also known as the stealth AFT and NEA funding agency? And HUD, progenitor of the Fannie Mae Housing Crisis, thanks to Andrew "The Architect of Ruin" Cuomo?

Wow. Tough decision. Let me think for a minute...

Furlough 'em. Nuke 'em from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

Make Obama lead for a change. Force him to make the tough decisions.

I'm sure he'll do spectacularly well. After all, he had so much executive experience prior to taking the job. And he's maintained that stellar performance ever since.

PRESENT!