The Pledge Class

Picture credit: Boston Globe
In conjunction with the Boston Globe's release of John Kerry's college records, the following transcript was recently discovered. It records the conversations that took place at the fraternity house in which various pledge candidates were discussed.

Okay, the kid is a zero. It's true. But think back to when you were freshmen. Boone, you had a face like a pizza with anchovies, right? Everyone thought Stork here was brain-damaged... I myself was so obnoxious the seniors used to beat me up at least once a week. So this kid... is a total loser. Well, let me tell you the story of another loser...

At which point the place erupts into derisory moans, boos and flying glasses.

Who dumped a whole truckload of fizzies into the swim meet? Who delivered the medical school cadavers to the alumni dinner? Every Halloween, the trees are filled with underwear. Every spring, the toilets explode...

Boston Globe: Yale grades portray Kerry as a lackluster student