Michelle Obama gets physical, physical, as she humiliates fat kids in race to show them that cheeseburgers and bad genetics really suck

The captions just write themselves, don't they?

Did you know that Michelle put her own kids through a diet program before embarking upon her campaign against child obesity? I know. You have to go overseas to read that news.

Oh. And expect a battery of New York Times articles regarding the Obama arm-toning regimen.