Vince McMahon "dead" in fiery limo explosion

 
10Q Detective informs us of the shocking death of World Wrestling founder Vince McMahon:

On June 12, 2007, World Wresting Entertainment (WWE-$17.04) announced that its Chairman Vincent K. McMahon entered his limousine when it suddenly exploded. Although full details were not disclosed, initial reports indicated that Mr. McMahon was presumed dead. Upon hearing the news, investors sold stock, sending the price down a modest 30 cents per share, or 1.8% in value. Yawn! Serious investors—and the Company—know that Mr. McMahon “will survive the fiery explosion.” And the only ones guilty of committing such a heinous act are the writers who came up with this melodramatic and predictable storyline...

Who could have "murdered" the irrepressible entrepeneur? Well, to be fair, I could come up with maybe a thousand names.

After all, there's no shortage of real deaths in McMahon's industry. Most fatalities, however, aren't due to exploding limos but rather more mundane causes: abuse of steroids, HGH, and pain-killers:

Every other week, it seems that another pro wrestler has dropped dead at a young age. Mike Lockwood, known professionally as Mad Mikey and Crash Holly, is the latest casualty, but there's a long list of premature deaths which include Road Warrior Hawk, Ravishing Rick Rude, "Mr. Perfect" Curt Hennig, Davey Boy Smith, Brian Pillman (pictured), Yokozuna, Terry Gordy, Rocco Rock, Louie Spicoli, Miss Elizabeth, Eddie Gilbert, Art Barr, and Kerry Von Erich. Sadly, this list is far from complete," a somber KJames199 writes... "While Owen Hart died in the ring when a stunt went wrong and the Junkyard Dog perished in an auto accident, quite a few of the deaths can be tied to drug use. Many wrestlers use steroids and/or Human Growth Hormone (HGH) to look like they do, then follow it up with painkillers to let them handle a life where bumps, bruises, and broken bones are a part of the job, and where you often don't get paid if you don't (or can't) work. The cost of this drug use is now being seen with young wrestlers dying at an alarming rate. If NFL football players were passing away at the same rate, it would be an enormous scandal. However, the media (with a few exceptions) seems to turn a blind eye to these deaths, possibly not willing or able to cover fake wrestling in a serious manner...

I'd like to think McMahon got his just desserts, but no one is that naive.