In Maureen Dowd's World

In Maureen Dowd's World: if President Bush orders wiretaps on international telephone calls between terrorist cells, it represents some sort of heinous, domestic crime. But if every President since FDR exercised similar warrantless taps for national security reasons, it was all okey-dokey. And just you never mind that the public overwhelmingly approves of said international taps: in Mo's socialist dream-world, the public doesn't count!

In Maureen Dowd's World: the fraternity-hazing gaffes at Abu Graib -- for which lower-level soldiers were rightly punished -- qualify as torture and are the direct responsibility of George W. Bush.

In Maureen Dowd's World: Kathleen Blanco and Ray Nagin performed flawlessly during and after Hurricane Katrina. And all blame can be fixed on (of course!) "Bushie" and "Brownie". And just you never mind that real reporters -- operating with foreign concepts to Dowd known as facts -- called the Katrina response, "the largest -- and fastest -- rescue effort in U.S. history, with nearly 100,000 emergency personnel arriving on the scene within three days of the storm's landfall."

In Maureen Dowd's World: 9/11 is never worth a mention and fighting back against terrorist attacks is unnecessary. Because the problem of fundamentalist extremism will simply go away if we ignore it. Certainly she does.

In Maureen Dowd's World: Al-Qaqaa was sufficient reason to pillory the President prior to the election (remember her column entitled, "White House of Horrors"? Of course not. No one -- not even Mo -- remembers a Dowd column once the coffee wears off). But Al-Qaqaa hasn't rated a mention since the day President Bush claimed a huge victory over John Kerry.

In Maureen Dowd's World: Saddam Hussein was a benevolent leader bent only on helping his people. And he had no connections to terrorists, or Al-Qaeda, or Zarqawi, or either WTC attack.

In Maureen Dowd's World: the Madrid subway bombings, the USS Cole attack, the first WTC attack, and Beslan never happened. Or, if they did, are somehow President Bush's fault.

In Maureen Dowd's World: the New York Times subscription site is working out just fine, thank you.